9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
