im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
