Dual....:-)
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
