So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
