turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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