i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
