so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
