Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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