literally had 100 drinks last night.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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