I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
