I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
how does that bad decision feel?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
