i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
