Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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