are you still at the devil's house?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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