It's just like the Real World with babies
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
