she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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