and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
