It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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