It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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