and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
