And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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