your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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