A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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