so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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