he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You took a bar mat shot.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
