so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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