I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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