I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
