I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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