Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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