Taylor Swift is so right about you.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Your cock deserves a montage
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
