their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
