if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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