I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
