woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
