you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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