therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im about as happy as oj after his trial
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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