Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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