he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
