how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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