He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
