You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
