He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
