You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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