This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
