Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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