A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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