He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
