I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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