So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
